A recent Facebook memory reminded me of “Snowmageddon” some 13 years ago when we lived outside Washington, DC. We had several snowstorms in short order that dumped something like five feet on us – more where the wind caused drifting to greater depths. Back then, we had a new parish hall building with a large, flat roof. Although it was a couple of years old, it had never been through such an onslaught of precipitation. We began to worry. I have blocked out the actual shoveling of the roof, or most of it. All I remember now is the enormous pile of snow next to the parish hall, almost up to the second-story windows when we were done. Below is what I (apparently) reflected on at the time. We aren’t likely to get a good snowstorm down here anytime soon, but I think the meaning still translates:

 
…Yes, it’s a sturdy roof, but the brain trust who considered the weight of the snow, which may have been equivalent to five feet after tonight’s storm, decided it was safer to clear it off. Our decision process went through several phases, including one that rationalized, “Well, if it holds all those big HVAC units, it should be strong.” Then we realized that was like saying, if a bridge can handle 10 tons, surely it can handle 12. Everything has a breaking point. We decided not to find out what our roofs is. It is well-engineered but wasn’t built to hold five feet of snow (and we checked this out with construction-savvy types who could do more than speculate – they used calculators and formulas). After all, how many times do roofs in this part of the country see that much? We can’t expect them to hold up everything the heavens can dump on them.

All of this mindless shoveling and digging on the roof brought to mind a cliché that I hear often and can’t stand. “God doesn’t give us more than we can handle.” Perhaps you’ve heard it. Perhaps you’ve said it. If you fall into the latter, I’d respectfully ask you not to repeat it any more, particularly to someone who is hurting. Here’s why: It’s like saying if a bridge can handle 10 tons, surely it can handle 12. Bridges collapse. So do people. Generally speaking, humans are quite resilient – that’s the way God created us. But at the same time, we all know of those who have experienced more than they can handle. Some, unfortunately, turn to drastic measures for relief, and it is a great tragedy to hear about a suicide. Others may not die physically, but the burdens with which they are saddled make them function as though they are among the living dead. We all know people like this. You may be one now or may have been one at some point in your life. If you survived that time, I’ll bet there were times you weren’t sure you could.

This whole issue stems from the debate over theodicy – justifying the behavior of God. It’s a huge topic that doesn’t fit in this reflection, but certainly, one worth considering. It’s not that God gives us more than we can handle – it’s that God doesn’t give it to us at all. We may be tempted to think that God tests us, but if that is true, God has much explaining to do. How do we reconcile a loving God with one that “tests” us by taking away our child, for example? I haven’t met anyone yet who can reconcile it for me, not definitively, anyway.

So instead of this favorite cliché, let’s try proclaiming that God is the destination of our burdens, not the source. Jesus himself said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Try that one on next time you’re hurting, or you’re trying to console someone. Jesus didn’t say, “Here, hold this for me for about 50 years.” God doesn’t dump on us from heaven – God takes away the heaviness. Whenever we feel the weight pressing down, all we have to do is get out our prayer shovels (or those of our friends) and try clearing the deck a bit. I won’t pretend it’s easy, but it is a place to leave our burdens.

Don’t test your breaking point on your own – we’re strong, but we’re not invincible. God is.

Tom+

Almighty and merciful God, in your goodness keep us, we pray, from all things that may hurt us, that we, being ready both in mind and body, may accomplish with free hearts those things which belong to your purpose; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.