It’s the most wonderful time of the year, or so says the Christmas song that Andy Williams made popular in the sixties. Generally, I tend to agree, whether it’s Advent or not. The “Christmas Spirit” takes hold in these final weeks of the year and that spirit brings a lot of kindness, warmth, and compassion – all of which we need more of. And yet, this is a season that can be very difficult for some. It is precisely because of the joys this season of preparation for Christmas holds that many find themselves experiencing emotions that aren’t the most wonderful.

Many of us have holiday traditions that are firmly attached to memories of particular people, and when those people have died, it can bring a measure of sadness into the joy we are seemingly surrounded by. It doesn’t have to be a recent loss. While we may always yearn for someone after they have died, it is true that recent losses are particularly painful. Much of the season, from Thanksgiving, to Advent calendars, setting up the Christmas decorations, to sending Christmas cards, doing the holiday shopping, attending pageants or Christmas Eve masses, and then opening presents – while often beautiful and joyous, can each be pierced by the pain of loss.  

Tomorrow I will offer the “words of hope” at the Hospice of the Golden Isle’s Lights of Love ceremony, an event they offer each year in the lead-up to Christmas, to remember those who have died. It is a service that acknowledges the grief that curls up around the joy of the season. By acknowledging that grief, we can also let some of it go, focusing instead on peace, hope, and love. None of those will take away grief, of course, but they can help us find ways to live with it and transform it into something…else; something that is not quite so painful.  

In our house, decorating the Christmas tree means pulling out our ornaments, collected as we have traveled around together as a family. Some folks buy refrigerator magnets, we buy Christmas ornaments. We literally drape the tree in memories. Some are the memories of our children – the homemade ornaments they would bring home from preschool, for example.  Others have been passed down to us by those who aren’t with us anymore. Most of them are the ones we’ve picked up, like our “See Rock City” barn, or the Statue of Liberty, or the Eiffel Tower I made by buying a cheap metal statue from one of the sidewalk sellers and then drilling a hole in the top. One day, not any time soon, I hope, those ornaments may be unpacked and one of us who was there for so many of the adventures will be absent. When that “first” Christmas comes, no doubt it will be a bittersweet mixture of smiles and tears that accompany the tree trimming.

The theme of Lights of Love is that there is light in the darkness. This theme is, of course, the very theme of Advent captured by our Advent wreaths. The Good News of God came into the world on that first Christmas, as a light in the darkness, the breaking of dawn after a long night. Even now, amidst the darkness of this world, with its pain, its loss, and its troubles, we yearn for the light, the way we yearn for those we love but see no longer. As Christians, our light in the darkness is Jesus, who is never overcome by the darkness, which, in turn, means we aren’t either. The new life of resurrection is what lights the way for us in the midst of darkness even now. This is our hope, and the source of our joy, even in the midst of grief and loss.

If this is a “first” or a “fiftieth” Christmas without someone you love, remember the special things you shared with them in this season and rejoice for the gift those persons still share through those memories. Shed tears, and also smile. Grieve, and also give thanks. Remember, and also look to tomorrow with hope. If this is a season that leaves you wanting a bit more light, perhaps you’ll benefit from attending the Hospice of the Golden Isles event tomorrow; it starts at 5:00 pm at the Hospice House, with time to gather for fellowship before and after. Or if that doesn’t work, sit down, light a candle as a reminder of the light in the darkness, and simply remember and give thanks.   

It is a wonderful time of the year, and the song reminds of so many holiday events and traditions. And while it may not always be as happy as the song suggests, we will also remember a Christmas from long, long ago and what that still means for us and for the world.  Loved ones may not be near, physically, but they are near in our hearts as we remember them.  I hope we can all agree that that, is in fact, pretty wonderful.

Tom+

Almighty God, we entrust all who are dear to us to thy
never-failing care and love, for this life and the life to come,
knowing that thou art doing for them better things than we
can desire or pray for; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Photo Credit:  Christmas Tree,  Craig Adderley, free photo via pexels.com.  Candles, free photo via pxfuel.com.