Sometimes everything is ok, until it’s not. That’s how the kitchen drain problem showed up. All of a sudden there was a leak. Water was getting past the drain itself, leaking between the sink and the flange of the drain. As I learned, it hadn’t really happened all at once, but from my perspective, and to my knowledge, it wasn’t a problem until it was. One of my daughters told me there was a bad smell coming from the sink and wondered if everything was ok. I looked underneath and knew right away – everything was not ok. 

If you’ve never looked under your kitchen sink (oh the bliss of plumbing ignorance!), the drain basket, sometimes called a strainer, sits in the hole that is cut into your sink, whatever material it’s made of. On the underside, there is a big ring (nut) that screws up against the bottom of the sink, squeezing a rubber gasket between the nut and the sink. Once it’s tight, the drain basket is tight and the water will flow down into the drain, which hooks up to the pipes that take the water away into the sewer system.  

Somehow, the ring that was supposed to keep the drain basket tight failed. The metal threads just broke. Unbeknownst to me, it had actually happened slowly, because as I looked at it from beneath, I could see where gunk had built up from a gradual weeping of water. That gunk eventually didn’t fill the gap any longer and the water came out around it, so that last night, when said daughter was cleaning up the kitchen, water was steadily leaking out and puddling under the cabinet. Because I’ve had leaks in the past, we keep a plastic bowl under the trap, and it was already full and had overflowed – not enough to fill the cabinet or overflow onto the floor, just enough to get things wet. The leak had probably been active for a few days, but it wasn’t until the odor of the wastewater got our attention that we knew there was a problem. I don’t really look under the sink that much, as I now realize.

Fortunately, I don’t throw good parts away, and I had a spare ring nut and rubber washer in my plumbing tote in the garage.  I was able to disassemble the drain and reassemble it again in about twenty minutes, clean up the mess, and we were back in business. But, as I cleaned up afterward, I realized that this was another case of everything being ok until it wasn’t.  

So many things in life are like that. From health concerns to our cars, to our jobs, or even to the relationships we have with those we love. So often there are gradual processes of wear and tear that escape notice until something fails or breaks. It’s not always like that; sometimes we have symptoms we can recognize and treat. Other times, however, it seems to happen all at once and surprise us. Truth be told, we can’t keep a close eye on every single detail of our lives looking for things that are wearing out. Nonetheless, it can be a good discipline to keep track of the important things.

When I do premarital counseling, I talk to couples about paying attention to themselves and each other, and being intentional about their relationship and the vows they make. Marriages can be a perfect example of the processes of decline that can occur very slowly over time until there is a noticeable problem. But they don’t have to be. Nor does a spiritual life. As we come out of the worst of the pandemic (from this Rambling to God’s ears!) I wonder how many of us have neglected our prayer life to the point that it doesn’t really exist in a meaningful way?  Even before the pandemic, it was easy to get in a routine of doing something else with our time instead of participating in regular common worship. There’s always a good reason for it, and there are so many other things we can do with our time, even if resting is all we substitute for the time we would have spent going to church. We can get along without Church for relatively long spells and everything will be ok. Until it isn’t. Of course, marriages and prayer lives aren’t the only places we experience such realities. If we aren’t watching for the signs, if we are participating in processes, if we aren’t following the news, or reading our mail, or talking with our neighbors, or any of a myriad of other things we probably don’t have the time and energy to do regularly, one day what has been ok suddenly won’t be.  

Some of this is just human nature, and the way of life. There will always be something that isn’t ok. Hopefully, we have what we need to put things back together and repair the breach when it comes. If we don’t, we’re lucky if we know where to go to get what we need. I was fortunate with the sink; it didn’t create a major problem and I happened to have spare parts lying around.  If I hadn’t, it would have meant calling a plumber, because I didn’t have time to go to the store.  We needed that sink to work properly.  

Now I’m wondering what the next thing will be that I think is ok…until it’s not? I’m thinking through the things that are most important to me so that I can spend some time assessing and then mending or healing now. Are there wet spots under other sinks? Oil spots in the driveway, leaks in my marriage or my relationship with my girls? Has my prayer life been draining away too much? Time to start paying better attention - there are some things I couldn’t bear to see go down the drain.

Tom+

God of light, in whom there is no darkness nor shadow of change, in all the tribulations and struggles of our lives be our equal brightness.  In times of perplexity give us your guidance, in times of despair, give us your hope, in times of conflict, give us your peace, that, enflamed by your powerful grace, we may offer through our actions a hymn of praise to you and, with thankful hearts, may know our lives to be filled with your gifts, through Jesus Christ our Lord.  Amen.      ~ The Canterbury Book of New Parish Prayers, p. 110.

Photo Credits: Kitchen Sink by Steven Cukrov, Broken down Car by Michael