In my sermon this weekend I told a story about how my grandfather paid my brother and I a penny apiece for every dandelion we pulled from the backyard. One clever parishioner asked me a question in the greeting line that made me remember another part of the story. The question was this: Did you pick just the flower, or the whole plant? We picked the flowers, of course. And I know that because it as soon as I thought about the question I remembered what happened when we presented our bags of dandelions to my grandfather when we were finished. He took one look at them and said something about why we didn’t pull up the whole plant. We were young; we had never “pulled weeds” before, only “picked flowers”, and so we didn’t know any better. I remember his lighthearted but very real frustration, followed by my grandmother’s quiet laughter directed at the man she had been married to for so long. She’s probably the only reason we got our pennies.
That is a treasured memory, like so many of my memories of my grandparents. We are entering into a season of memories. For many of us Thanksgiving and the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas is full of memories, most of them positive (I hope). We are able to remember family gatherings, relive old traditions, and even laugh about the disasters from the past like the year the turkey was burned or the Christmas tree fell over. It’s almost as if the many scenes that play in our memory from this time of year have a soundtrack of Christmas Carols or the glow of a fireplace in them, even if neither of them were really there.
This time is indeed a time for making memories. In fact, it is a time for intentionally making memories. Yes, it is possible
to make memories. No, it’s not as simple as slapping a photo of an event up on Facebook or Pinterest. Sometimes we don’t really pay attention to what’s going on, and even photography isn’t enough to help us out. I have coached many couples about making memories on their wedding days for this very reason. Many brides and grooms have a wonderful wedding day, and two months later cannot remember details of it until they look at the photos. Now, we might say that was the result of adrenalin or champagne, but that’s likely only a small part of it. I coach them to intentionally try to remember the moment they make their vows, for example.
If we stop and take the time to see what’s going on around us – really see the scene; if we are able to check in on how we feel about the moment; if we pause and take up a stance as an outsider looking in for a moment, we find that the experience can become much richer. It registers in the brain in a way that says, “This is an important moment. Remember this.” It includes all sorts of things from noting the detail of the embroidery on a dress, or the exact Christmas carol that might be playing at that moment. Perhaps it’s the smile on Grandpa’s face as he waits for the cranberry relish to come his way for seconds. Some of these memories can happen on their own, yet we are able to help them along with some attention too.
This is one reason why the season of Advent is not to be taken for granted. One of the hallmarks of the season is the call to slow down and pay attention. Look at the world around us. Note the dark places as well as the places brimming with light. We rush through life most of the rest of the year and even speed up in the holiday season, so that we don’t really experience what we experience at the deepest levels. When we do that we remember why the prophet’s shouts were so welcome. We remember at once the deep memories of our faith tradition, and the yearning of our hearts as we look to the future. We can make memories of our encounters with God too, as it turns out.
As we “officially” enter the holiday season with Thanksgiving this week, be sure to make some memories. New memories are always welcome, and sometimes they are necessary, especially because of changes in our life. Perhaps there is a new child in the family, who is just now forming their first memories and experiencing what will become the traditions they pass on to their grandchildren. Perhaps this is the first holiday without your spouse, the person who normally would have knowingly and lovingly laughed at you because while the turkey got in the oven on time it took an hour to realize you forgot to turn the oven on. There is a beautiful dance of memories and memory making ahead of us in this season, and thankfully God is in the midst of them all.
Ironically, we make memories of what we do today to remember the past in the future. This too is the season of Advent at its core; living intentionally today, remembering the promises and actions of God from yesterday and looking ahead to the fulfillment of all of those promises when the time comes. Try to slow down now and then in the weeks to come, remembering why we celebrate this season in the first place. That’s all. Just remember.
Tom+
Almighty and gracious Father, we give you thanks for the fruits of the earth in their season and for the labors of those who harvest them. Make us, we pray, faithful stewards of your great bounty, for the provision of our necessities and the relief of all who are in need, to the glory of your Name; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.