I was not surprised by the verdict today in the murder trial against Travis and Greg McMichael and Roddie Bryan, the three men accused in the death of Ahmaud Arbery. On one hand, at least. On the other hand, as I listened to the verdict being read count by count on my iPhone, surrounded by a group of pastors straining to listen, as we gathered at the Courthouse this afternoon, I realized that I also felt relief. If I wasn’t surprised, why was I feeling relief? Why did I see tears of relief in the eyes of so many around me, particularly the black and brown faces? Perhaps because, as I recently learned, it’s the hope that kills you.  

The source of that quote is a comedy show, specifically, the Apple TV show, “Ted Lasso”. It’s a reference from English football that describes how fans don’t hope for too much in some contests, because hoping for a win leaves them crushed when a loss is the outcome. What I saw playing out in recent weeks as I have visited the courthouse grounds and spoken and prayed with all sorts of people, is that their hope was real, but tempered.  

The majority of folks I’ve heard from, or read comments from online, have been of one mind, a mind that matched that of the jurors, as it turned out: these three men committed a murder and deserved to be held accountable. Although most of those same people could agree that the prosecution seemed to prevail during court proceedings, there was a sense of hope only, not assurance, that they would be held accountable through the verdict. And I know why. Although race was not central in the courtroom in this case as it was finally argued, it was certainly a part of the trial, nonetheless. There was a worry that despite what seemed to be a clear case, the outcome was not assured.

Experience (and research) tells us, and especially those in the black community, that young black men aren’t afforded the same assumptions as other demographic groups. Was this going to be another case where another unarmed young black man’s life would be taken without the killers being held accountable? That was the question many were asking. Was it a problem that the jury was mostly white females with only one black man among the final twelve? Would the justice system do what it was intended to do, since it didn’t do it initially? We all remember that these men weren’t arrested for more than two months, and may never have been arrested were it not for a New York Time article and the video which came out as a result of that article about a week later. Was it prudent to get hopes up about outcomes, only to have those hopes dashed once again?

What I saw today at the courthouse was nothing short of relief, as the hope that so many carried bore fruit. Even one of the young men wielding a camera for NBC news had tears running down his face. He was trying to do his job while managing his own emotions. This decision today, guilty on 25 of 27 counts was important. It sent a message to this community and to this country that yes, “the system” can provide just outcomes, even though it doesn’t always mange to do so. Part of the work of reconciliation and equity is to ensure that one day the racial makeup of a jury, defendants, and victims won’t matter. This decision helps us take another step toward that reality, because it has mattered in most cases up to this point. (It’s been studied and examined – it’s not just an opinion or a talking point.)

While many are relieved and in agreement with the verdict, it does not mean there is no more work to be done. Our local system still needs reform, as many of us know from following local news in recent years. This murder uncovered some of that. We still have relationship building to do among our neighbors. We still have a lot of listening to do, as we hear the experiences and cries of others. The clergy group that I have been working with does not see that our work ends today with this verdict, but continues indefinitely. I celebrate how this community came together across such a diverse racial, religious, and political landscape. We will build on these successes and realities and hopefully be even stronger in the years to come. We still have a lot of work to, being honest with one another, naming the places where God’s kingdom still needs to come to bear on this world, and then addressing those issues.  

I want to close by saying I do not rejoice in the outcome of today’s verdict. I agree with it. It’s what I hoped for. But it does not bring me joy. It does not bring back a young many whose life was taken so violently. It rends the bonds of two more families, as three men are facing stiff prison sentences. After the verdict, when court had adjourned, I heard one of the defense lawyers say, with all sincerity, that the McMichaels are sorry for what they did and that they truly thought they were doing the right thing. I believe them, even if I disagree with their actions. I have never said or believed that these men were evil. They may have committed an evil act (in the sense that taking a life is contrary to the will of God in most cases), but they are not evil. They made some bad choices, and they made some mistakes, which should be clearly evident to them now as they are living with the consequences of those actions.  

It breaks my heart that for some, it is the hope that kills us. We are a people of hope. We’ve been waiting for century upon century for the final promises of God’s covenant to come to fruition. One day there will be peace.  One day there will be justice for all. One day there will be no more pain. One day there will be no more death. One day there will be no more division as we are all joined around the throne of God. One day. But not this one. And probably not tomorrow, either.  

I live in hope despite each report of violence and war, each instance of injustice, each heart-wrenching story of loss, each death that takes someone from us. I won’t let my hope die or take me with it. As Paul says, “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Our loving God is a God of peace, justice, healing, reconciliation, and above all else, resurrection.  One day we’ll live that reality without hesitation, caveat, or tempered faith. Even if today isn’t that day – for today is a complex day of emotions and not one of joy or fulfillment - it’s a day of hope, nonetheless. 

Tom+

Most gracious and everliving God, in whom we put our trust and to whom we come for comfort, we pray today for this community as we accept the results of this trial that was so public and so fraught with emotion. Be with and among us as a reconciling healer, a lover of souls, and guide us into places of reconciliation and understanding. Surround the Arbery family as they seek a sense of peace in conviction. Surround the McMichael and Bryan families in their loss. Be near the defendants as they await sentencing, and hear the cries of their hearts as only you can.  Help us to rejoice, not in punishment, but in truth; not shout with self-righteousness, but listen with humility; not reassure ourselves that all is fine, but commit to the work ahead to bring your kingdom to bear on earth as it is in heaven. Give us, your church, a heart for the work of reconciling the world to one another and you in Christ Jesus, and the strength to continue this work until it is accomplished. We pray these things in the name of your Son, our Savior Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, now and forever. Amen.