I’ve been hearing a lot about trauma lately. First, there has been the discussion of the trauma the war in Ukraine is inflicting upon millions of people in that country and around the region. I heard this morning that more than four million Ukrainians have fled their homes and are now refugees in other countries. We know that war, especially war that plays out in populated areas where random homes and people are killed creates a host of traumatic experiences.  It’s traumatic for survivors, victims, and anyone who must witness the horror of such violence. There is also the impact on children, that while typically resilient, they are affected greatly by war and the displacement, uncertainty, and changes that come with such conflicts.

Then there has been the “slap heard round the world” at the Oscars. I didn’t initially see it, because I don’t watch that kind of television, but it was still everywhere the morning after and every day since. Since Actor Will Smith slapped comedian Chris Rock, there have been countless opinions about why we should support or condemn Smith or Rock, or both. The most cogent reflection I’ve read delved into the trauma Smith endured as a young boy, watching his mother beaten and injured by an abusive partner. Years ago, in a biography, he discussed the pain throughout his life of feeling helpless to stop the abuse or defend his mother. The commentator, who is a therapist, noted that his actions were a classic trauma response. It is highly likely, they posited, that his behavior, which was uncharacteristic, was triggered, at least in part, by watching his spouse harmed and then subconsciously connecting the two events.  This writer was not saying that Smith’s behavior was excused, quite the contrary. Instead, they suggested he be held accountable, but not demonized.

The last two weeks I have also done some reading about generational trauma of the sort that is passed down between generations. The medical community has proven that trauma can change DNA, and then that DNA can be passed to others.  The context was in addressing the lasting ramifications of slavery and Jim Crow. It also applies to trauma for those who commit harm of one sort or another, from slave-owning families, or soldiers who kill others in the line of duty. The other realization is that hurt people hurt people, including themselves. If trauma is unresolved, it can be incredibly destructive. A family friend recently finished up a sixty-day inpatient treatment program to deal with a career’s worth of trauma as a first responder. Trauma is a reality that we are still learning about and understanding. 

This week’s Way of Love theme is Pray. Now, prayer is not usually going to alleviate trauma in someone’s life by itself, yet prayer, for the Christian, is certainly a part of the treatment plan.  God knows about trauma firsthand. Our Lord underwent suffering to an extent most of us will never know, and God has stood by with God’s children for thousands of years, while they have suffered. Our God knows suffering. The psalmists offered hymns and prayers of lament, naming things that would most certainly be included on a list of traumatic experiences. Our tradition is full of invitations to invite God’s healing presence into our broken lives and find wholeness as a result.  

One of the most damaging things people can do when they’ve experienced trauma is to ignore it, or to cover it up, or to bury it deep inside themselves. We’re taught to be strong, especially boys and men, who are shaped by a toxic masculinity that has no room in it for tears or vulnerability. One of the things our Lenten journey reminds us is not to bury or hide anything from God. The dark places we store the worst parts of our lives in can be deadly. Bringing them into the healing and grace-filled light of God’s love is the only life-giving way to deal with them.  

As I say, prayer alone will often be insufficient to deal with trauma in a lasting way. Prayer can keep us grounded in the healing presence of God’s love though, especially when we need it most. Our suffering Lord has been where we walk when we find ourselves traversing the valley of death and leads us to the sustenance that will restore us. Many of our problems may not rise the level of trauma. Maybe our prayers are prayers of praise and thanksgiving for blessings. Or maybe we’re just moved to acknowledge the glory of God, as we know it from God’s presence in our lives. All forms of prayer help us to meet God and build the relationship we share. Keep God close and sharing our burdens with God is especially helpful when we are carrying a lot.  

As I said when initially addressing the war in Ukraine, prayer isn’t nothing. Sometimes it’s everything.

Tom+

Assist us mercifully, O Lord, in these our supplications and prayers, and dispose the way of thy servants towards the attainment of everlasting salvation; that, among all the
changes and chances of this mortal life, they may ever be defended by thy gracious and ready help; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Photo Credits: Ukranian Family by Marian Vejcik, and Grief Angel by Chemival, via Dreamstime.com subscription.