Sometimes I go to the pantry and I swing open the doors and just stand there. I am hungry; I just don’t know what I’m hungry for. I have been known to do this with the refrigerator, but I don’t do it as often because I still hear my mother’s voice in my head telling me to quit letting the door hang open. But, on the occasions where I’m at the pantry door, it is common that I simply can’t make up my mind, so I end up settling for whatever is close and/or easy. Among the favorites are pretzels and Cheez-its. Let me tell you, I can eat me some Cheez-its, especially the new Toasty variety. They cook them a little longer and…never mind. You get the point.

At times I am aware that my choices for snacks aren’t the healthiest, and I do settle for things like rice cakes or the crumbs from the bottom of the bag of Goldfish crackers because there just isn’t anything else to eat. There’s plenty in the pantry, mind you; lots of good food that could be eaten… just not anything I’m hungry for. I can tell you much more easily what I don’t want to eat every time I stand there. That’s just the way it is for us. Sometimes we know what we don’t like even when we don’t know what we do.

This is a phenomenon I am well aware of in the church too. In part, this phenomenon was at play in this year’s Easter sermon. For those of you who missed it, I was building on Rachel Held Evans’ book, Searching for Sunday, which our small group read during Lent as a part of the Diocese of Georgia’s “One Book, One Diocese” initiative. I was trying to acknowledge that her insight about why some people don’t attend church more often is completely accurate and expected. It often has to do with our level of discomfort around our own faith, which for many of us is hard to define, and certainly to put into words.

We’re not always sure what we believe, and yet we’re quite sure what we don’t. We know when something doesn’t sound or feel right, and we react to that. At the same time, we have this hunger for a deeper spiritual life and connection to God, but we have trouble putting our finger on it. This can be a really uncomfortable place to be, and at times the Church hasn’t been very helpful. Evans’ experience, which is one that I have learned did resonate with some who attended church this Easter morning, is that sitting in church with a bunch of questions can be intimidating, worrisome, boring, and bad for our spiritual self esteem, especially when we assume everyone else figured these things out a long time ago.

I confess that as I wrote the sermon for Easter I did have a number of recent conversations in my mind. I keep hearing stories about people who have fallen in love with the church, but maybe haven’t fallen in love with God or Jesus yet. I also hear stories from people who aren’t sure what the church has to offer them. I hear from people who can articulate their hunger for more but they don’t know where to go to be satiated. And I hear from people who no longer look in the pantry of the Church because it has hurt them or shamed them in a significant way.

All I can tell them is that I think the Church does have good food to offer, although it’s not going to be necessarily flashy. It may not be what you would have expected to find satisfying, yet there is satisfaction to be found here. No one is going to fuss at you for leaving the door hanging open as you search, and you might find that others are searching alongside you too. When we pray the prayers and sing the hymns and listen to scripture week in and week out we don’t have to look for God because God finds us. I’m always amazed at how God breaks through to find me in unexpected ways. I’ve learned that if I’m hungry enough to look at all, God will come through. I will save for another rambling or a later conversation about the myriad ways we settle for whatever is easy or close by to fill our spiritual hunger; I think we all understand that dynamic, too.

As we continue through the season of resurrection, with the stories of the risen Jesus appearing to his friends and the formation of a fledgling church, perhaps we’ll remember the place that hunger has in all of this. On the shore of the sea Jesus made breakfast for his friends. On the road to Emmaus they recognized Jesus after they had eaten with him. There’s something about being hungry, and certainly something about being fed inherent in the story of the resurrection. I hope we can all find the thing we’re hungry for as we continue to celebrate resurrection together.

Tom+

Link to audio of the Easter sermon can be found here: Easter Audio
Link to the text of the Easter sermon can be found here: Easter Text

Gracious Father, whose blessed Son Jesus Christ came down from Heaven to be the true bread which gives life to the world: Evermore give us this bread, that he may live in us, and we in him; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.