We’re an awfully fussy bunch. Just a couple of weeks ago I heard frequent complaints about how cold it was around here; “It’s

never this cold,” people would tell me. Then we got into our first real days of warm temperature, approaching eighty degrees. Guess what I heard, “It’s too hot!” There must be a really narrow band of temperatures that are just right – let’s call it the Goldilocks zone – and if only we could live in that Goldilocks zone all the time things would be perfect!

A recent discussion in one of our small groups centered on the unhappiness that comes in life when we are constantly dissatisfied. If all we note are the places in our lives where we don’t have everything we want or think we need, it makes for a miserable existence. This is the very same lesson that many of us began learning as children when our parents tried to insist that if we only worried about what everyone else had and what we didn’t, we’d be unhappy forever. We have that conversation with our girls more often than I like!

But this is much more than wanting stuff, or coveting someone else’s stuff. It happens when we realize that our bodies don’t do what we want them to do. It happens when we see the pages of the calendar flipping by quickly, knowing in the back of our brain that they aren’t unlimited. It can happen when we realize we’re not quick enough to come up with the witty joke we wish we had in social settings. It can happen when we can’t reach that ideal number on the scale. We have to live in the tension between what is and what we wish were true, no matter what that wish might involve.

We have to learn how to handle that tension. We can’t live life waiting on the idea

l moment, the ideal conditions, or the ideal version of ourselves. Sometimes that tension can spur us to action. We may need to work harder or differently. We may need new friends. We may need to learn how to dress in layers! We also might have to start having to wrestle with questions like, “How much is enough?” “Am I comfortable with who I am?” “Am I happy?” But since most of us don’t really want to confront those questions (or perhaps the answers to them), we find it easier to complain instead.

Complaining isn’t all bad. I knew a woman who said, “When I quit complaining, I’ll be dead.” So there’s that. At the very least complaining means we have breath to complain with. But habitual complainers are miserable to be around. They can suck the life out of us. It’s no picnic to live that way either. None of us wants to be that person. There is a spiritual journey here that involves coming to grips with who we are; accepting the reality of our situation, and/or evaluating our ability to change it; making the changes we can, and enjoying what we can enjoy in life. It is so much better to engage that process than to let such things rule our thoughts and our lives.

The Goldilocks zone does not exist – not in an ongoing way. Life is lived outside of the zone, which is normal. As long as we don’t strive only for that ideal that is unattainable, it is manageable. We can find meaning and contentment in the “less than” part of life, which is where life is lived. Strive for joy, independent of what that little blonde haired girl calls us to. If you forget, just sing that little children’s song as a reminder: “I’ve got that joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart…” Somewhere inside us we do have that joy – God places it there for us. All we have to do is find it. Then everything will be just right.

Tom+

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. Amen. Reinhold Niebuhr