Twice in recent weeks I have run into parishioners at Harris Teeter (figuratively, not with my car or my cart!) who have noticed me in my “street” clothes and made comments to the effect of, “Wow, you’re a real person!” This is not totally new to me; I’m aware that people have certain assumptions about who their clergy are and what they do and don’t do. I think one of those times I was in a ratty old t-shirt making a quick run for something, and on another occasion was in swim trunks and t-shirt. Those are not the “uniforms” people are used to seeing me in.

This isn’t the first time I’ve realized how people see me differently because of my vocation. Once, in seminary, BEFORE I was ordained, I changed from my Sunday clothes into casual clothes

in the bathroom of my field parish because we were going to walk around Chattanooga before returning to Sewanee. Upon exiting the bathroom in my shorts and t-shirt, I met a parishioner in the hall who did a double take and said, “Wow, I didn’t recognize you without your collar.” I didn’t wear a collar yet at that time…but because I was merely studying for the priesthood, I was already afforded a new identity and appearance. People can see the collar that isn’t there, and they can often not see you without it either.

Phillip Gulley, a Quaker pastor and author, writes wonderful short reflections in his books like, Hometown Tales. I highly recommend them. In Hometown Tales he tells the story of some Mennonites who moved into their neighborhood bringing their Amish-inspired use of clotheslines with them. He reflects on the effect of his own family’s clothesline in their yard this way:

“People from our church come by to visit, and we sit outside underneath the shade trees while our familyunderwear flaps on the line. My slender sons have tinyMickey Mouse and Tigger underwear. In comparison,

my underwear are large and ratty. They beat the airlike flags. My fellow Quakers steal glances at them and shudder. It’s hampered my ministry with them. Istand in the pulpit and preach about such lofty, wondrous things as salvation by grace, and they ignore me. They’ve seen my underwear. Now I’m just another bozo with holes in his skivvies. I’m probably going to have to leave this church and start over somewhere else.

Truthfully, I’m thinking our clothesline will be ablessing. People have a tendency to revere their pastor. I don’t think that’s always good. It obscures ourhumanity. You need to see our undies flapping on theline to remember that we are human.Do we love people for who they are? Or do welove them for who we think they ought to be? I situnderneath those shade trees and visit with coupleswho’ve been married more years than I’ve been alive.Folks who love each other for who they are, not for whothey ought to be. A big problem in our world is thatwe fall in love with images instead of persons. Godforbid that our underwear should show, that our masksshould slip.” Hometown Tales, p. 23-24

I have no plans to show off my underwear. Don’t get nervous. I do think, however, that all of us can benefit from stopping now and then to think about the real people behind the masks that we see them wearing; either the masks they wear or the ones we see that aren’t really there. It goes both ways – with the people we put on pedestals and the people we look down upon. It’s true of the people we compete against weather they make us feel better or worse about ourselves. We need to learn to see people for who they are, not who we think they are.

In my case, I’m not offended or dismayed at all by comments like the ones I heard at the grocery store. It simply reminds me that I do the very same thing. Who do I revere and in so doing lose track of their humanity? Who do I hate and in so doing lose track of their humanity? Who do I simply not see at all? I’m not saying underwear is the answer, but it might just be an image that helps us remember to build real relationships with real people.

Tom+

All through this day, O Lord, let me touch as many lives as possible for thee; and everylife I touch, do thou, by thy Holy Spirit, quicken, whether through the word I speak, theprayer I breathe, the letters I write, or the life I live; in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.