Everyone likes to win. It really doesn’t matter what it is. It could be a prize in a sweepstakes, a gift basket from a drawing, a centerpiece because you had a hidden ribbon taped under your chair, a sporting event, a friendly wager, an arm-wrestling challenge, a video game, or so many other things. Winning is fun and it literally feels good.  When we win, our brains flood with testosterone and dopamine, which triggers the rewards centers in our brains. We were created with a drive to win, in a sense. One win makes us look forward to another.

Those same brain chemicals can also support bonding between people. People who win together will naturally feel a closer bond as a result. Some studies have shown that a team that competes together against another team will see rich reward center payoffs in their brains from a win. But if the team competes against itself in small teams, the effect goes away. Going against our team can have an opposite effect and even the winners in that scenario have demonstrated a drop in certain neuro-transmitters. Social scientists have known this for a long time, too. Winning and losing can change a community in noticeable ways. After a team loses a championship run, for example, the host city of the loser will undoubtedly see an uptick in heart attacks and traffic accidents in the days that follow.  

This week, though, many Georgians are flying high after the Bulldogs won the National Championship. The win over the University of Alabama has been a huge deal. It’s been more than four decades since the team brought that title home, and beating one of Georgia’s archrivals, who embarrassed the team earlier this season made it all the more special. I have a colleague who was hopeful that a win like this could provide us a with a moment of unity that is so desperately needed, too. I can say I’ve seen congratulations from those who support other teams and typically root against Georgia, so maybe that’s true.

We need more things that we can claim as wins. We need to find things that will bond us together in a common victory instead of feeling like we’re competing with one another and feeling like losers even when our side wins. Our divisive culture is hell bent on finding differences and competing for airtime, claiming small wins and loss in politics or social media or COVID mitigation, despite the false construct that those things are really competitions in the first place. We think we feel good that our side wins an argument or a debate or a volley of memes, and yet somewhere inside us we also know differently. We know on some level that such competitiveness and divisiveness is actually an indicator of all that we have lost and continue to lose.  

Perhaps this is why wars used to unite us? When it was us against someone else, the team spirit kicked in, the testosterone and dopamine fueled our love for our neighbors and we hoisted our flags together. After several conflicts without the ability to claim a win, however, such things are not guaranteed to bring us together in the future. Now I’m just as likely to see my neighbor as an opponent no matter what. So how can my neighbor and I win something together?

It’s going to take effort to put aside the oppositional places we occupy and instead find the place in us where we can remember that we’re all in this together; all playing the same game; all following the same rulebook (in theory). Maybe we’ll have to start by thinking those things through. What is that we’re all doing together? What game are we playing, in which we’re on the same side? Do we have any shared opponents that we can triumph over together? Are there rules to this game that we’ve been breaking? It might be as simple as celebrating the small stuff. Let’s count a small step forward with someone different as a huge win and celebrate it. The brain will take it from there. We’ll want more wins, and we’ll go looking for them. Not wins at the expense of the other, but wins of the sort that build God’s kingdom and guide us to reconciliation with one another and God in Christ.  

The first step in that process will always be losing to ourselves. Jesus warned us of that. If we really want to win, in the cosmic sense, we have to lose ourselves; our selfishness, our pride, our stubbornness, and our personal will to dominate. In our world, those are the things that often drive winners, right? Those who win at those games actually lose, though, or so Jesus describes. So if we want to win more, we have to lose, first? Wow. How badly do we really want to win?

While we think about that though, we can still celebrate an exciting game on Monday and come together around the excitement of a Georgia National Championship. It’s a good win to build on.

Tom+

This was the tongue-in-cheek prayer offered this weekend.  We are grateful for the Bulldog Championship coming home to Georgia!

Almighty God, we give you thanks for delivering our Bulldogs from the heathen clutches of almost all of our opponents this season. In truth, O Lord, we know that you don’t really care who wins these games, as you love the righteous and the unrighteous alike, (even though we know you have favorites). We know that you hear our prayers for interceptions and unexpected long bomb catches, and yet you restrain yourself from interfering in the ways of college football. Nonetheless, we are pleased that Georgia has won the SEC East and made it to the national championship, and we give thanks to you, deserved or not, for when we are happy, you are happy. As we prepare for the final game of the season, we pray that you would keep all the players healthy and focused; give them humility, but not so much that they don’t bring their “A game”. Bless all those fans and alumni who have suffered the weeping and gnashing of teeth in lean years without as many wins, and let us look to the championship with hopeful hearts. We pray this, joining our voices with angels and archangels and all the company of heaven as we say, Go Dawgs! Amen.