Over a year ago I Rambled about my upcoming sabbatical, planned for summer 2020 – this summer. I wrote about it then because we were forming a committee to apply for a grant to fund the sabbatical, a grant we were ultimately awarded last fall. So the sabbatical is on. While some people thought I was going to be away last summer, (some folks were surprised to see me in June and July!) I will actually be away from Christ Church this summer, beginning in May and ending in August. May isn’t that far away. I will be rambling a few times about the sabbatical; what it means, what it will involve, and how everyone will be a part of it in some ways. For today, I want to start with the why.
What are sabbaticals? Sabbaticals are born from the spirit of Sabbath keeping. It seems God knew about the importance of “stopping” a long time ago. There were cycles for sabbath beyond the weekly observance noted in the Ten Commandments. One Jewish cycle included sabbath years every seven years, during which the fields were left fallow. The breaks weren’t just for the fields, but for the farmers, too. There were also seven, seven-year cycles that culminated with the 50th year Jubilee year during which slaves could be freed, debts forgiven, and God’s mercies were more manifest and celebrated.
Sabbaticals are an opportunity to stop working for a time. In the church’s understanding, sabbaticals are typically on a seven-year cycle. Our diocesan guidelines make “full” sabbatical available in the seventh year of ministry, although lesser amounts of leave can be taken after only three years. By the time I go on sabbatical in May, I will be in my eighth year at Christ Church, and my sixteenth year of ordained ministry (none of which has included sabbatical leave). Frankly, I need it. Not because I’m burned out, but specifically to help prevent burnout. And here I must be careful.
It’s a fine line to walk between acknowledging that one loves their vocation and ministry and also admit how challenging it is without sounding like a whiner. So, too, must I be careful, because not everyone is given the opportunity for sabbatical leave from their vocation. I wish it were more common. After years of increase, 2017 saw 17% of employers offering some form of sabbatical leave to their employees. It’s not easy or inexpensive, and yet institutions and companies have quickly realized its value. Please know I am incredibly humbled by and grateful for the opportunity to take a sabbatical from parish ministry. I know it is a rare gift.
So, what’s so hard about ordained ministry? A year ago I wrote:
“We’ve known for years that clergy are, on average, less healthy than the general populations. Just compare insurance premiums! Clergy have higher weights and blood pressures than a general sampling of the population. They
report depression and burnout at rates sometimes twice the general population. Reported hours of work is also higher than average for clergy, an indication that our to-do lists are literally never-ending. There is always more to write, read, study, more people to call/write/visit, more planning to do, etc. Then there is the 24/7 availability and the fishbowl effect. We tend to have higher standards for our pastors than for our plumbers, teachers, health aides, etc. All of that weighs on clergy and their families. None of these challenges are exclusive to clergy, and yet the way they all come together is somewhat unique.”
There are a lot of factors at play in that assessment, and more subtleties that are harder to put into words around what it means to have a spiritual vocation. There is a distinct burden carried by moral, religious, and spiritual leaders that is hard to describe. We are standard bearers who carry a lot of things on behalf of “the Church”. When you believe that you are doing the good work of the Gospel and find yourself the target of certain kinds of criticism, it cuts sharper than in some other vocations, where we can be more naturally objective. Churches are notorious institutions for breeding unhealthy behavior among their members. Fortunately, that is not a defining characteristic of Christ Church, although we have a measure of it, as every congregation does.
Two things in this vein; one, I’m not down on my vocation; I still love what I do. I was made to be a priest and I feel affirmed in my choice of vocation on a regular basis. Two, I also feel the burden of ministry more than I used to. I am tired in a longitudinal way that I can feel. Some days you feel tired in a good way, like when you’ve completed something important or special. Then there’s a weariness that is there and grows over time. It’s not burnout, but it’s an indicator that burnout is on down the road a bit. There is real danger in ignoring it, in the way that ignoring some aches and pains can turn into real injury. It’s time for a real break and I’m grateful that one is coming.
Training programs like Living Compass or Franklin Covey use the example of what happens when we work with a dull saw. We have to work harder and harder for less and less progress. When that happens, we overwork trying to compensate. We don’t often stop to sharpen the saw because there’s so much to do! This is the reality for anyone who works through their days off or can’t shut their brain off on short vacations. Over time, the blade can get so dull that it takes an extended period of sharpening to get back to work in a productive way. This sabbatical is saw-sharpening time. I’m not working in the traditional sense, I’m observing sabbath. I’m resting from “work” and focusing on prayer and health and family. I will be learning and growing, but I won’t be engaged in a burdensome program.
The Lilly Endowment National Clergy Renewal Program at Christian Theological Seminary (CTS), which is funding my sabbatical leave, “[provides] opportunities for pastors to step away briefly from the persistent obligations of daily parish life and to engage in a period of renewal and reflection.” The Clergy Renewal Program directs sabbatical leave specifically towards renewal. They are quite clear, for example, that if you are seeking money to engage a course of formal study, to go somewhere else. They go on to explain, “Renewal periods are not vacations, but times for intentional exploration and reflection, for regaining the enthusiasm and creativity for ministry, for discovering what will make the pastor’s heart sing. Pastors serve a variety of roles in their privileged position at the center of congregational life: preacher, teacher, spiritual guide, pastoral visitor, friend, confidant. The responsibilities are continual, and the pace and demands of parish life can be relentless, often leaving even the most dedicated pastors recognizing the need to replenish their own spiritual reservoirs to regain energy and strength for their ministry.”
This is what my time away is designed to do; make my heart sing again, replenish and strengthen my spiritual reserves, and regain energy and strength for the next chapter in my ministry at Christ Church. Again, I wish everyone had the opportunity to do this. I’m still not sure I fully believe that I do! I’ve known many priests and pastors who have said that a good sabbatical leave saved their ministry, their families, or even their lives. They can be that powerful. So, I’m taking my sabbatical leave and I am excited for how it will shape me, and also shape Christ Church.
I’ll write another rambling to share more about what I’ll actually be doing, what the plans are for life at Christ Church while I’m away, and how the congregation will have an opportunity to grow along with me during my leave. I’ll save those for ramblings to come.
Tom+
Life-giving God, in the course of this busy life, give us times of refreshment and peace. Grant that we may use the gift of our sabbatical and Sabbath time to rebuild our bodies and renew our minds. Refresh our souls so that our spirits are opened to the goodness of your creation and to the recognition of your work in our lives. Amen
~Adapted from "Prayer for the Good Use of Leisure," Book of Common Prayer
Photo credits: Person on bench, Public Domain via Wikimedia. Head in hands, Public Domain via pxfuel.com