I have had a hard time with the news this week that comedian and actor Robin Williams has died. I don’t usually have trouble with “celebrity deaths”. I think the reason this death is getting to me is two-fold. First, because I am a big fan, and second, because of the nature of his death.
As most of you know I have a fairly healthy sense of humor. I like comedies and comedians, and Williams is possibly one of the funniest human beings that have ever walked this earth. His quick wit, his impersonations, and his ability to disappear into himself (more on that later) have made him a huge figure in the entertainment industry. I cannot remember a time without Robin Williams; his rise to fame and career match up with my years on this earth. Two of my all time favorite movies are The Dead Poets Society and Good Will Hunting – but he’s been in so many other memorable roles we might remember. Because of his talent and ubiquitousness I think many of us feel like we knew him, at least as much as we can know a Hollywood star. It almost feels personal.
The other reason I think this has been a hard one for so many people like me is because of the tragic paradox of Williams’ humor and his depression; the latter ultimately claimed his life. How could someone who so effortlessly brought smiles and laughter to millions be so lost in depression? On the surface it seems not to make sense that those two realities could exist alongside each other. But they did. And it actually makes a lot of sense. The humor and the laughter were in all likelihood the way that Williams tried to disappear into himself, or at least to run away from a part of himself. As the saying goes, “If we don’t laugh, we’ll cry.”
It breaks my heart wide open to think that someone who brought such light to the world was living in
utter darkness – maybe not every minute of every day, but certainly on a regular basis over the long term. And most of us wouldn’t have guessed it. It can be difficult to notice the signs of severe depression until something like this happens. If nothing else comes from Robin Williams’ death, I give thanks that it is shining a much-needed spotlight on major depression and suicide, two subjects we don’t like to think about, let alone talk about, despite their prevalence in our society.
We’ve come a long way in the last 50 years in our understanding of depression as a disease and the seriousness of its consequences. People trapped in a dark place by depression are not weak, they are not just sad, and when they give in to the darkness and do something extreme like taking their own life, they are not taking a cowards way out. We know enough to know that when someone is in the grips of a major bout of depression ending their life becomes the only way some people can find relief from a pain that is pervasive in ways that many of us do not fully comprehend.
That is not to say that I would proscribe suicide as an appropriate response to depression; not at all. There is always help to be found, light to be shined into darkness to help people find their way out of it. But at the same time, we have learned to understand why people make such a terrible choice. The Church no longer considers suicide to be the sin it once did. We have learned from psychology and brain science that depression is a deadly disease like so many others that claim lives all too often. We have learned that damning a suicide victim to hell (or at least asserting that God does) is an unhealthy and unhelpful response, especially for the family and friends left behind. If we truly believe the words of Paul, nothing separates us from the love of God in Christ Jesus, who is the light; light that is never overcome by the darkness.
Our task is to find ways to help those who suffer from depression and who live out of these dark moments, often hiding behind smiles and laughter and a commitment to an outward appearance of normalcy. We need to de-stigmatize depression, and help our loved ones get the help they need. At its worst, depression makes us think and act in ways that we do not want and cannot control. It is an insidious disease, and one that needs to be brought out into light, not pushed into shadows where the darkness can grow deeper.
If you know someone who is depressed do your best to help them (follow this link to learn more about helping someone with depression and how to recognize they symptoms of depression). If you are depressed, ask for help (follow this link to learn more about how to take care of yourself and get help). If you or a loved one is considering suicide, call the Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273 TALK).
It is too late for us to help Robin Williams. It is not too late to help others and help ourselves. There is always hope, and there is always light.
Tom+
Gracious God, the comfort of all who sorrow, the strength of all who suffer: Let the cry of those in misery and need come to you, that they may find your mercy present with them in all their afflictions; and give us, we pray, the strength to serve them for the sake of him who suffered for us, your Son Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
O God, who knowest all our lights and all our shadows, look with compassion on this thy child, Robin, who has taken his life with his own hand and receive him as thine own. Deal graciously we pray thee, with those who love him, and grant that in all their troubles they may know thy healing and redeeming love, made known to us in Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.